BACK TO MAIN PODCAST PAGE

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Series 2, Ep16: Deciding to be BIGGER

 

EPISODE NOTES

 

UNMASKING UNSCHOOL is open for Enrolment:
https://www.solasystems.xyz/unun

----

 
Self belief that you can create a new thing in the world, or in your life
that you can be in new ways

starts low

and builds as you create evidence that your body brain nervous systems understand as a REALITY that can be trusted

and BELIEVED.

Until that point,
you best source of belief is your own ACTIONS

and being able to keep moving forward during the ‘lag time’ between the doing and REALITY around you catching up.

But there is another source of potent belief: DECISIONS.

not just any decisions

but the ones which ask you to EXPAND
to be BIGGER that your problem

to decide that you are up for the HARD
and willing to ride the waves to make it REAL.

This episode is about those kinds of decisions.

I speak to how my own recent decision to ‘handle it’
to move through difficulty without compromising on my dreams
to SHOW UP for what I want

and the impact of that on my sense of self belief.

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

===

[00:00:00] Hey, sibling, you are listening to the unmasking unschooled podcast. This is for visionaries, creatives, and change makers who happen to be autistic, who are done with pathology paradigms, the masks and misinterpretations of the past and the burnout cycles that come from trying to fit in with what doesn't work.

[00:00:31] You are here to create new aligned life structures, to innovate industries, to design liberatory solutions, and create new culture by becoming yourself. My name is Louisa Shaeri. I'm an artist, coach, and founder of Sola Systems. This is all about you getting unstuck, reinventing and elevating your sense of self.

[00:00:52] Having the social context and frameworks to make a life that makes sense for how you make sense so you can finally experience who you're here to be in your fullness. Let's deep dive into it.

[00:01:09] Hey sibling, today I want to talk about building belief. I've talked about this quite a lot before, but I want to share some new thoughts and talk about the belief that comes from a decision. There are so many ways to create belief. And I think of it as a scale that you increase and you start low. And so many of us think that we need to believe before we can start taking action.

[00:01:39] And so one of the things I say a lot is you only need. 5% belief, you only need a tiny bit of belief because you're going to build it as you go. And the reason I say that is because your own actions in the beginning of doing something new, of doing something that is new to you that you've never done, or even that's new to your family or your culture or your, the people around you or new in the world doing something new, the, the, the.

[00:02:09] the source of belief in the beginning is your own actions towards it. And so the more you take action, the more you start to believe that it's starting to be possible, but you have to start with very low belief. And this is the power also of, of aiming high of dreaming big and then lining yourself up with that and, and beginning on that path.

[00:02:36] And so in the beginning, your, your own belief. Sorry, your, yeah, your own actions are the source of belief. And as you start to build momentum, as you start to see yourself making progress, as you start to make mistakes, find out, okay, that path didn't work. Let me try another one. Or, okay, that person isn't with me.

[00:02:56] Let me keep talking to more people. Whatever's on that path, the more you pick yourself back up and carry on. And the more you start to see evidence in your life, in your results, in the things that you're doing, in the conversations that you're having, that yes, this is possible, then your belief grows and you won't be at full belief until you've done it.

[00:03:23] And even then, you might not be at full belief, right? Be surprised still, it might be, uh, strange, but what often happens is we get to quite high belief ahead of making something real. One of my clients is about to launch a book. You're going to hear from them soon and their belief that it's going to happen is super high.

[00:03:47] Even though it's not quite finished, even though it's not quite done. And so when you're building evidence, you're building belief, you're building momentum, you're building connection around what you're doing, what you're creating, where you're going, then when you finally do it, when it arrives. You can also have the experience where it just seems inevitable.

[00:04:09] It just seems like, yeah, I mean, I was already living as if that is true. And the material reality is just catching up. And so there's a clue in that about the lag time between your actions, you having enough evidence to feel like it's happening, it's coming real, it's becoming true, and then reality catching up.

[00:04:33] And. That reality catching up can then also trigger a new ripple effect of belief in the people around you, right? Because then they start to have new evidence for who you are, what you're doing, what you're creating, and can finally reconfirm that back to you in a bigger way. But the clue there about that lag time is something I've experienced recently in, I've had an enormous in the belief I have about what I'm creating.

[00:05:05] Now, solar systems, I see it as like a 20 year massive vision. I want to impact thousands of people. I want to see thousands of people like you knowing your worth, knowing that you're worth. and believing in your body that you are real, legitimate, and the things that you want are possible for you, and going out and creating it, going out and being that, modeling that, shifting the culture.

[00:05:31] And so I'm a little bit of the way in, and I'm en route, and I'm building evidence, I'm taking action, and I'm seeing the results come in slowly and slowly, as they do, as I'm building. And some of the results that I've been seeing in terms of what my What the, what those I coach are doing, the breakthroughs they're having, the shifts that are just cascading open.

[00:05:56] increased my belief to a very high degree of certainty. And that is having ripple effects in who I'm being. I think of who I'm being, right? Who you're being is, you know, the ways that you're showing up, the, the belief system, the thoughts, the feelings, the way that you're responding to life, the energy. The reality that you're living and beaming out, that's who you're being and who you're being is always shifting.

[00:06:26] It's always changing, right? And so this new evidence has created a new level of certainty that is rippling out in who I'm being, the way that I'm showing up, the way that I'm coaching, the level of belief I have in. Those I'm coaching and what I know is possible and that is shifting things on an energetic level.

[00:06:51] I'm seeing things in a new way. I'm seeing things from a new vista and one of the things I'm seeing is that who I've been being, it no longer fits, right? It doesn't. It's like, no, no, no. I'm ready to expand this skin. This version of me, this way I've been being is too tight. It's constraining. It's stale.

[00:07:17] It's outdated. It's not me anymore. And so. I can feel that, and there's also something that has been an ingredient in that, which is not just about the evidence. It's not just about the fact that I've been taking action now, creating solar systems for four years, and seeing the results of that, right?

[00:07:39] There's another element that's really important and I want to talk about it because it's fresh for me. It feels very of the now and it's reminding me of the experience of change, the experience especially of identity change. And what it comes down to is a decision. And I want to talk through a decision I made recently.

[00:08:03] That has been a catalyst for this new level of belief, a new level of certainty, because I could look at everything I'm doing and I could mistake that certainty and that shift in identity for just being about what's happening around me. And what's happening as a consequence of things I've done. But the decision that I've made is so key.

[00:08:27] And I want to bring that to you as like, this is how change happens. Change starts in you and it starts with a decision and the kind of decision that I'm talking about is the decision to become larger, bigger, then the problems that have felt overwhelming, then the problems that you're facing. So what was this decision for me?

[00:08:54] I, back in the summer have been, I think I've talked about this, reviewing the curriculum, looking through style assisted materials. How do I want to shift it, streamline it, make it more concentrated, more to the point. Uh, more effective mean that people can get results faster, that there's less executive function, uh, heaviness going on, that this, the process is easier, right?

[00:09:21] And I've been reviewing, reflecting and kind of sizing up the possibility of a new, brand new version and changing a few things about the structure. And I've also kind of been putting it off. I wanted to launch back in June. In July, in August, and I've been aware of how much what I'm envisaging is going to require me to be something new, someone different, right?

[00:09:54] The way that I'm showing up, the capacity that I think I have for what I'm capable of doing, as me, while self connected, needs to, needs to grow, right? And, So I've been doing a lot of what you might want to call busy work or like the kinds of procrastinating where it's productive. I'm doing something, but I'm not doing the thing.

[00:10:22] I'm not doing the scary, big, new way of doing it. I was in August. I was in the end of August and I was looking at the astrology for September. I tend to hold astrology fairly lightly nowadays because I think you can make any aspect work. But I looked at the, the dates in September, I was like, what would be a good time to launch?

[00:10:47] And I looked through every single day at all the aspects and how they related to my personal chart was all positive. All tense squares. If you know astrology, you know what I'm talking about. And I was like, fuck, that's not going to work. And I also knew that stuff was going on. There's been a lot going on personally the last few months.

[00:11:13] A lot of it in my extended family. Loads of things going on, right? Uh, people being ill. Uh, we've had, uh, their family member pass away. There's been just the feeling of complete overwhelm of shits hit the fan. There's too much. Uh, what the fuck is life? This is hard, but also a reminder of the preciousness of life.

[00:11:39] And yeah, this is hard, but this is also how it goes. Like, the miracle of being alive, the amazingness of, fuck, I have another day, has also been landing very strongly. And this has been also another factor. When we're face to face with the preciousness of life, is often when we make the most powerful decisions.

[00:12:00] And rather than wait for that, it is also something that we can induce, that we can decide, we can focus on, we can remind ourselves of. And use that as the context in which we're deciding to make change. So that's been going on. And then we've also been looking at moving house. We're in a two bedroom house and we have two kids.

[00:12:23] And they're at the age where that's starting to feel very unworkable. And so we need to move, but we don't want to move anywhere else. And so there's a really almost feels impossible task that we have of finding the exact place while not moving away. And so, moving house, and then there's also the fact that I need to start working somewhere that isn't in my bedroom.

[00:12:47] So, for those of you that don't know this, my desk sits very squarely between a bed and a window. And, I move the desk. I rearrange it. I get some boxes from my kid's room. I sit my laptop on that. I climb over my bed to get behind my desk and this is like amazing, right? What an amazing world I live in and privilege I have that I can build a business from a desk next to my bed and I can do this work in that way, but it's feeling limiting.

[00:13:25] It's feeling constrained. You can see the themes that are repeating across everything. And so I'm looking at getting a studio, I'm looking at moving out, I'm looking at changing where I'm working. And that means shifting the work I'm doing to a new level as well. So there's a lot going on. There's also been changes happening for one of my children.

[00:13:48] They are going through a real transition in terms of age and they're a different person again. And it's requiring a lot of new attention around, okay, who are they now and who, who's the parent I need to be now for them. So, so much flux. We've had viewings at home. We've had, you know, the pressure to keep the house tidy because last minute someone might want to see it.

[00:14:11] And, All of the paperwork and the bureaucracy involved, and it's just like a fuck ton of stuff. And I knew all of this, all of this was kicking off in the summer, in August, and I was looking ahead at September, like, there's things I want to do in my, in, you know, with solar systems. Ordinarily, the person I was being would have said, no, we need to push it back a bit more.

[00:14:38] I need to delay it. I don't have the room. I don't have the capacity. I'm not capable of taking all of that on at once. In fact, I don't know if I can take any one part of it all on at once. And looking at those squares in the astrology, looking at the bad timing, looking at the fuck ton of stuff going on, I made the decision that I was going to be and become the person who could handle it all.

[00:15:06] This is my life. And I don't want to delay it anymore that there are things I'm here to do. And the person that requires me to be is not who I've been being. And the decision was, I'm doing it anyway. I'm going to support my partner. I'm going to handle what's happening in our family. I'm going to handle the move.

[00:15:25] I'm going to handle all the stuff that's like the chaotic change that's happening. And I'm going to do it as the new me. I'm going to do CMCC. It was called Change Maker Culture Creator. It was a five session, five day free offering and a way for me to test out new curriculum, try out what's the important beats to say in a condensed version that would be much, much more condensed than the actual program and experience who I'm being now in that work.

[00:15:54] And also to launch Unmasking Unschool, this next version. And I made the decision to go ahead and do it anyway, and I can't tell you how powerful that decision was, that level of commitment, that resolve, that feeling of I'm becoming that person. I'm enlarging myself to handle it. To make it possible to be the person who can do it and bear in mind, I have a lot of tools.

[00:16:27] I have a lot of skill sets. These are the tools and the skill sets I teach. So it was leaning on them heavily. Everything that I talk about practicing, I was practicing hard. I was doing the work. I was holding my own hand through it. I was aware of this will be hard and I'm up for it. The decision was I'm up for the hard.

[00:16:52] So the decision to be up for the hard of changing something that you previously felt was too big. Too much, too bigger than you, right? And to allow yourself to be in that, to be in that hard, to move yourself through it. That is what it takes to create change. Who you become with that type of decision is someone who can look ahead at your future and not be intimidated, who can set big goals and trust yourself that you'll get there.

[00:17:27] who can know that you can weather any problem that comes your way. You are capable of that. And so it's, it's not a question of, can you do that? It's, will you? And so for those of you that want that right, who are knowing that there is a decision like that, that you're wanting to make, there's a pivot that you need to change.

[00:17:49] There's a quality of life that you need to step into. And that the way that you're showing up to your life, the habitual self that you're being, the identity that you think you are no longer match, then it's a decision, right? It's a decision. This kind of decision is the decision to believe and trust the way that you need to do things.

[00:18:14] This kind of decision is not the decision of pushing past. Pushing past is when you haven't decided and you're in the suffering. You're in the, it's too big for me. You're in the, oh, I need to disconnect from myself to get through this. The decision I'm talking about is I'm staying with me. all the way through.

[00:18:33] So yeah, if you are knowing that you're poised on that, you're knowing that you're poised on the precipice of making the kinds of bold decisions that remind you what life is like, right? What remind you what life is about that exhilarating thrill of I'm alive. I fucking remember what this is about. I know that I have this one precious life and I'm not here to waste it.

[00:18:57] I know there's things in me that I'm here to create. I know there's impact that I'm here to have. There's visions I have for what I want to be, what I want to do, and the things I'm here to do are coming directly out of who I am, insight, right? Who I am, what my experiences are, what my strengths are, what my insights are, what I've lived, what I know that other people don't know, and being that, committing to that, boldly saying yes to that.

[00:19:29] And then what happens is. You don't actually know how that is going to be, what is going to be involved, what the work is, what the actions are and who you are when you are being that. So that decision was not a clear decision of, okay, that's who I need to be. It was an energetic, inner resolve and commitment to myself to be in the path of finding out.

[00:19:54] All right, I don't know who I'm being next. I don't know who this is. And now I'm in the finding out. And the longer that you can sustain that finding out and not retreat into the need for knowing and be in those unknowns, the more that you get to reach your own edges and find out that they are so much bigger than you thought, that you are so much more powerful than you knew.

[00:20:18] It means Your body, right? Believing your body's response to the status quo, believing that those burnout cycles have something to teach you, that the way that you're masking has come from a social environment that wasn't right, that didn't reflect you, that taught you something about what it is that isn't working.

[00:20:40] and that being true. And so how can you be part of the solution? How can you shape your relationships so that they reflect you better? Applying those wisdoms, right? Applying the wisdoms that are hidden in, contained in, masked inside of the ways you've been being, that maybe are downplaying, being small, retreating, recoiling from the hard, recoiling from being courageous, recoiling from teaching people and showing people, no, this is who I am.

[00:21:10] This is how I do it. This is what I'm here to do. It's applying and finding and Reaching through all of the muck and the life experiences to turn those experiences into that wisdom by, by believing them, by taking the actions that believe your body and that believe the dreams that you have. Now, knowing what you want, That isn't easy, right?

[00:21:36] It took me a long time. It took me lots of self connection, lots of reflection, lots of trying on, lots of sifting through, lots of testing and finding out. And it also took lots of stoking the desire. It took a review of everything that's not working. It meant starting with What don't I want? And using that as a compass to start to begin to clarify, okay, what is it that I want?

[00:22:04] What am I here to create? So you may have gathered, Unmasking Unschooled, the new version is here. Enrollment is open and I'm a whole new person. This is a whole new refreshed program. I'm going to be teaching the solar system live, taking you through every, every planet. In the solar system, every, every one of the nine principles, the nine steps in a journey of identity transformation and Helping you create that self defined, self clarity, knowing what you want, knowing what's not working, really becoming aware of all the ways that you've been showing up to life in a way that's been conditioned, in a way that helped you get here, in a way that's helped you survive, but is no longer fitting the life that you want, the life that is you thriving, the life that is you, Co creating the life that is feeling good and reflecting you back, and then also creating energy, widening that capacity by coming first back within it, setting new boundaries, learning to trust the signals of your body, learning to interpret them in a new way, learning to ride the waves of change, and then also creating agency.

[00:23:20] Organizing the structures and the systems of your life so that they, they work for you, they work for the way that you learn, that you think, that you process, having that be the foundation of everything that you're doing, and then repairing that relationship with taking action, with setting goals, with not experiencing them as demands or as things.

[00:23:38] shoulds or as far off delusions, but as things that you're moving towards. And these are the skill sets that I'll be teaching live. And so it's a three month intensive with 12 months of coaching alongside it so that you can implement. So you can really take the three main areas of your life that you're wanting to see change in and shift them, have the support, have the environment, have the context, have the tools.

[00:24:07] These are the skill sets of transforming your identity and your reality. So who you think you are, your, I am story, really cleaning the lens through which you see yourself when you see your world and your future, and then shifting and aligning the ways that you show up to your life and impact it so that it is in line with what you want and what will actually work for you.

[00:24:29] So unmasking unschool is about teaching you these skill sets. And it's about swapping what's been familiar loops, stagnancy, stuckness, maybe burnout cycles, over adapting, fitting in with what's not working in your relationships, in your industry, right, in the ways that you're living, the ways that you're communicating.

[00:24:52] And. And, and camouflaging who you are, the confusion, the self doubt, right, that comes from living through systemic and social structures that are constrained, that industrialize, that are biased for other people's agendas, and carving a new way of doing things, shifting your life so that it works for you.

[00:25:10] And it's the temporary discomfort, right, of moving into those unknowns. I don't know who I'm becoming, but I know that it's what I want. It's saying yes to that desire for a better quality of life. So Unmasking Unschool is open. We're starting on the 30th of October, and you can enroll now to make sure that you have your place and that you are setting yourself up for a year of change.

[00:25:38] A year when you are going from what you have. Which is amazing already, like fuck how amazing it is right now, how amazing you are, the wholeness of who you are, and letting that be the starting point for where you want to go next, which might be, you becoming someone who can create change, you becoming someone who can create new culture, right, who can impact, who can influence, who can shape things.

[00:26:07] Who can deepen your trust in how you do things, who can know the difference between pushing past and how it actually feels to make those bold moves, right? To stay in self connection as you enlarge your capacity. It's you learning to ride those waves of change so you know what to expect. You know how it feels.

[00:26:29] You can identify where you're at in a cycle of change and ride it, right? Be at the helm of your life, be in the driving seat, be the CEO of your visions. That's you experiencing new levels of ease, confidence, self trust, discernment, and having resonant relationships that reflect that back, resonant vocation, a purpose, and moving towards it with momentum, with the evidence that you're building, feeling seen, connected, not being alone in what you're doing, having a social environment where And That's the norm, right?

[00:27:04] Going for what you want because you want it and knowing that you're worthy of it and knowing that it's for the person that you'll become on the route to get there, having a context where that's normal, where you can see the journeys of other people who are doing that too, where that provides even more evidence, even before you have your own evidence of how it works.

[00:27:24] You leading the culture. So if Unmasking Unschool, if a year of change of you becoming the cultural leader of your life is something that you're curious about, you're wanting to know more, you want to have the support to apply everything that you've been listening to in this podcast and have a year of that to go deep, to immerse, build that connection and belief for who you're becoming and what's possible for you, I want to invite you to join Unmasking Unschool.

[00:27:53] Doors are open now. We're starting on the 30th of October. The time is now and I cannot wait to see those of you that make that powerful decision to join inside. For those of you that want to go straight to the link, you can go open the show notes or you can go to solar systems s o l a s y s t e m s dot x y z forward slash u n, u n, un un, unmasking unschool.

[00:28:21] So solar systems dot x y z forward slash un un. Alright sibling, I'll talk to you soon.

 

 

 

BACK TO MAIN PODCAST PAGE

BACK TO TOP