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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Series 2, Ep4: The Seven 'C's of Change: Riding the Waves

EPISODE NOTES

In this episode I talk through seven 'C' words;

CHOICE

CLARITY

COMPETENCE

CAPACITY

CADENCE

COACHING

and I also reference The Social Change Ecosystem Map:

https://buildingmovement.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ecosystem-Guide-April-2022.pdf

and invite you to consider what 'C' or 'season' are you in?

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Hey, sibling, you are listening to the Unmasking Unschooled podcast. This is for visionaries, creatives, and changemakers who happen to be autistic, who are done with pathology paradigms, the masks and misinterpretations of the past and the burnout cycles that come from trying to fit in with what doesn't work.

You are here to create new aligned life structures, to innovate industries, to design liberatory solutions, and create new culture by becoming yourself. My name is Louisa Shaeri. I'm an artist, coach, and founder of SOLA Systems. This is all about you getting unstuck, reinventing and elevating your sense of self.

Having the social context and frameworks to make a life that makes sense for how you make sense, so you can finally experience who you're here to be in your fullness. Let's deep dive into it. Right,

sibling, this is going to be a bumper episode. Buckle up, grab a pen. Get ready because I want to talk about some of the speed bumps in a journey of change. All right. As I'm coaching autistic folks or ADHD folks on unmasking, becoming liberated, thriving, becoming themselves, creating their most aligned, impactful work in the world.

So much of that is a reorientation to what is internally felt, sensed, but doesn't. Yet have full tangible evidence out in the world something that you are dreaming of that you're desiring That you're needing that is an inner knowing and without having the external proof or the full evidence or realization yet and Trusting that inner knowing before you have that external evidence and proof so that you can be in the work of creating it.

That is really at the core of the SOLA system approach. It's why, generally speaking, I'm not working with people who just want life hacks to help you fit in. That's not what we're about over here. I'm working with people for whom either that's not an option, like fitting in is just not an option or it's no longer an option.

Tried that, or it's no longer a choice you're willing to make, right? You've gained the skills of fitting in and it's not. It's not it. And also people who don't want to hear that who you are is the reason why you don't get to live a life of well being and fulfillment and creative satisfaction and impact right.

You don't want to just have this fixed story about who you are. You are [..] you're raising the bar for what you're willing to accept. And therefore these stories about, you know, pathological deficits or fixed traits or over applying identity politics to you as an individual, right? Where it's, it's more about patterns in the world. Or, you know, just reasonable adjustments to the status quo and everything remaining the same.

This is not really it, right? You want more. You are becoming an agent of intentional change, be it in yourself, in the world. And. You are someone who is becoming on purpose, right? That, that process of becoming is something that you are making a choice about. And so this work, my work, this podcast is all about giving you the map, the tools, laying out some of the things that have helped me, that have helped those I work with so that you know where to focus your resources on, right?

Where does it count? And You know, so in this journey of reorienting to what is internally felt, sometimes there are things about that that can get hard and that can mean that we judge ourselves, we think that we're the special exception, that it's us failing or we're doing it wrong, that It's something about us.

That means we don't get to experience that. And this can sometimes happen because we underestimate the number of factors, ingredients involved in growing and changing, right? We're not machines. Productivity and growth isn't a consistent, we ebb and flow, right? We are cyclical. We are seasonal. And we don't know the right answers most of the time.

And it's not just a matter of working harder or working faster or working better. And so when we expect ourselves to be like machines, then we Don't normalize what the journey is actually like and the amount of two steps forward, 10 steps back, that is involved. And we also don't notice some of the micro changes that are happening in, in those different moving parts of change.

And. So when our expectation is out of whack, it makes it harder to flow with the waves of change and we feel untethered and because we're not machines and so when we, when we're comparing ourself with an idea of What this is supposed to be like, that comes from a very industrialist, uh, model, then what we're not doing is being able to acknowledge all of the micro changes that do happen.

And we also stifle our ability to flow with those waves of change because we're feeling untethered, right? We're feeling lost in, all right, this must be going wrong. Instead of able to bend with and be with the waves, ride the waves of change. What I'm offering today is seven C's of change to help you ride the changes, ride the waves of change.

Seven C's meaning seven words beginning with the letter C. I'm going to read them all out. They're also listed in the show notes in case you want to refer to them and I'm going to go through each one. And it might be beneficial. Identify a problem in your life, current challenge, a current lesson that you're in, that the universe is giving you, that life is, um, bringing to your shores.

What lesson are you in? What is the current challenge? And to hold that in your mind as I go through this. Okay, so I'm going to go through them, explain what I mean. And then I'm going to give some examples. So C number one is choice. One of my mentors, one of the mentors that I have that doesn't know me and doesn't know that they are my mentor is Leticia Nieto.

Leticia Nieto says choice is the smallest unit of liberation. All right. And I love that. Sometimes what we need is to open up our perception of where do we have choice? All right. And sometimes that requires acknowledging also what is beyond our control, what is outside the realm of choice. So systems we find ourself caught up in, conditions we didn't consent to, we didn't choose, right, living conditions.

conditions we were born into, uh, government policies, multiple genocides, wars, extreme global inequities, climate change, um, agricultural industry, medical industry, healthcare industry, like so many things, industry standards, biases, all the isms, generational impacts, economic tides, right? So much happens to us, happens around us.

That we might not have chosen and might not choose. And sometimes it can be useful to start with that and say, okay, all right, there's so much not in my realm of choice, but if I'm becoming someone who is making change on purpose, then my focus needs to go to where do I have choice, right? Where do I have control and influence and can make change.

Choices. Where have I negated or been believing that I don't have choice? Where have I been taught that there isn't a choice? This is just the way it is. Sometimes I find it useful to push all of the shoulds and the have tos off the table, the metaphorical table of, of my energy, attention, life, and to assess each thing that I think I have to do.

In terms of, okay, what are the consequences of doing it or not doing it and bringing it back into a realm of choice? This is also about how can I see that I've made choices that I'm now living the consequences of? And sometimes those choices have been made. Sometimes we just kind of go with the flow of what we think we're supposed to do or what other people do or what they tell us we should be doing, right?

Or what is just around us in the culture, or we've just made them in reaction as a limitation of our current [00:10:00] skillset at the time or a current level of understanding the degree of agency that we had. So sometimes we might be dissatisfied with our life and feel a sense of victimhood, like, how did this happen?

I don't like this. This happened to me. And sometimes recognizing the ways that we made decisions that led to our current life. Can help to reveal the amount of choice that we actually do have, and therefore a new level of responsibility we can take for what our life looks like. That isn't always the case, right?

Stuff happens to us, and in those instances, we have then a choice to how do I want to respond? Is this something I want to refuse? Is there? A way that I don't want to react, right? Creating a space between what happens to us around us and our reaction to it and exercising our full choice. Okay. So that's C number one choice.

These aren't really in linear order. They all interact. Think of them as overlapping circles. Okay. The next one is clarity. Do I actually know what the actual problem is? And this is because sometimes I think we confuse the solution with the problem. And this is about sometimes the thing that we think is the problem is actually presenting us the solution, right?

It's the lesson or it's the invitation to grow, to meet that challenge in a new way. So, for example, we think that we need to believe or know how before we take action when actually we need to take action to build the belief and to build the clarity on how we think that being invisible or not seeing away or being in the dark is a problem when actually it's the truth.

The way we think that we need everyone else's confidence and acceptance and approval first, when actually that comes last and only after we have our own approval and acceptance. And after we've built the confidence through doing, trying, building up the evidence, building up the proof and eventually.

Last is when other people are then able to give you that validation and approval. So that's clarity. Clarity is about knowing what is the actual problem, uh, so that you can know what the actual solution is, right? Have a look at how you're framing the problem and how you might look at it from the position of having solved it.

The next one is competence. This is all about your skills, meta skills, knowledge, experience that lead to an ability to do something really well or effectively competence. If you take the skill of, let's say learning to DJ, I'm going to borrow an existing model that's from the seventies. to talk this through.

Right? So this is called the conscious competence learning model. It's got four steps, unconscious incompetence. When we don't know what we don't know, right? Unconscious incompetence. You've got no idea what it takes to become a DJ. What equipment you need, what the buttons and the knobs on the equipment does, right?

How you might produce a sound and have it sound good. Um, what the skills involved are. You might not know how to even turn on the tech or what tech you even need. So we start off fucking clueless, unconsciously incompetent. So as you're thinking about your problem that you're trying to solve, do you have the skills, the meta skills, the knowledge, the experience that leads to an ability to solve it or to do something effectively and well, the next step would be conscious incompetence when you have an idea of what you don't know how to do properly yet.

And you're in that. Difficult learning how to do it, right? You're, um, in the skills building, you're exposing yourself to a shit ton of failure. This is why this is the hardest phase. And it's also why it's really important to notice the little micro successes here. And why it can be really helpful to have someone that you're learning from, right?

Because it's making that unconscious incompetence conscious. All right. So this is when you know what you need to know. You just haven't learned it yet. And if schooling was punitive and you were rewarded for having all the answers, you might. Already have judgment about yourself being there, right? This is often when we're at the stage of learning publicly.

There's a lot of skills that you can only learn and get competent with by doing them in the real world on the job learning. Next level is conscious competence. When you've got the skills, but they still require you to pay for the tension, DJ set And Yet it's still needing you to pay full attention to everything you're doing.

And it might be where your confidence is always wavering in response to how well you're doing it in that moment. And so it still needs your focus and practice is the gap between that and the final layer, which is unconscious competence. This is when the skills become so innate, so embodied as a deep automation.

It's almost just part of who you are and you don't have to consciously think about it to be good at it. It's when the creativity, the spontaneity, the flow kicks in, you flow. Think of great jazz musicians who they're just inside the music and they're not thinking about steps. They're not reading notes on a paper.

When you reach unconscious competence in a skill is when you get some of the focus, space, attention, energy, and internal resources back. And then you can add another skill and start to stack them this way. Another example to think about is, let's say you're on a new trip with new people, you're starting a new job and everything looks great on paper, right?

Your access needs are being met. There's lots of advanced warning or adjustment time or ideal conditions and everything sounds good on paper. But if you haven't got the skill of tracking your inner states, knowing what your current boundaries are, And therefore being able to know what access need is current for you, right?

So many of us, it's like our access needs are constantly shifting and changing. It's not a clear list on a piece of paper. Then in that instance, articulating Truthful boundaries or needs or when you need, what, when, what support, when. And so you can't really make the most use of the ideal conditions or the access or the accommodations that are available.

And so sometimes there are competencies that we are in the learning of, and yet we're judging ourselves for our inability to make use of the resources that we have around us. The same is also true of a work environment that has none of those things, right? And then you need the additional skills on top of the inner boundaries, the advocacy to create an influence, a culture of access.

And it might also be about knowing when to pick your battles. This is also about knowing that some people aren't open to offering that, or some people have judgment or ideas or ableism or is other isms that are, um, In the way, right, that are creating a barrier. And so this is about knowing when to pick your battles, being able to discern who is really for you or not, what places and spaces are supportive and worth your time and energy.

And sometimes the energy saving grace of the skill of discernment, knowing your highest goals, your highest purpose, the value of your energy and how to protect it. This is why Planet Nine in the SOLA system is about goals and knowing a big why, knowing a purpose that you are focused on, not because of having a goal itself, but because these create a purpose.

A vehicle or a filter recognize what is important to you and start making choices that are based on centering what's most important to you. And so competence can be about swapping out the survival skills of over adapting and appeasing and building thrival skills of self clarity, defining a liberatory role for yourself.

Making self connection your only goal, the source of self clarity, building the self belief to create evidence, to create new structures, to advocate, to take actions that go against the grain of past conditioning, but reinforce what you are centering, what is important to you. This notion of skills is something that I'm bringing much more into an explicit Naming as part of the SOLA system as it's going through.

And I don't think I've mentioned this yet. The SOLA system behind the scenes secretly is going through a revisioning, a re synthesizing into its final evolved form. Pokemon anyone? Uh, final evolved form of the framework and the materials. There's been so [00:20:00] much competency building in my own work as part of this, that means that I have new unconscious competencies for how this works, how I can support people better, how I can streamline this process for others in a more efficient way, but also, There are other changes I want to make.

I'm going to talk about those in a minute. All right. So competence. Next up is capacity. Capacity is really about what level of demand your internal and external resources can deal with. Without you disconnecting from yourself, right? So do you have the time? Do you have the internal nervous system capacity or bandwidth to take something on?

Can you deal with it? And how well can you deal with it? What is your current capacity? Capacity is always changing, right? Money also influences capacity. If you haven't got the resources to buy a musical instrument, there's no amount of competency or, you know, Um, any of the other C's that's going to make up for that, right?

So that might be then pointing to the current problem to solve. If you want a relationship, but you haven't got time, right? And there is no capacity within your calendar to go on dates, to respond to messages, to reflect and grow within, This process to be available for that journey of getting to know someone, then that points to what might be a bigger priority.

Either there are just other more important things going on, or you need to create the capacity for that journey. I often overestimate what my capacity is for something based on what my Capability or my competence is right. I forget that becoming competent in a new skill or navigating a new experience uses up a huge amount of capacity and nervous systems also store survival energy, store trauma, store unprocessed stuff, and.

It's like storage space in our capacity being used up, and so the less we've dealt with our shit, the less capacity we have to deal with more shit, and this is why when you haven't, you know, processed and dealt with things from your past, problems keep showing up in your current reality. When we're feeling overwhelmed a lot, when we're feeling burnt out a lot, if our nerves are constantly jangled by every new sound, and we're tired, but wired, or we're numb, we're shut down, we've hit capacity, we've gone way beyond capacity, right?

But sometimes we, Adapt to low capacity as our normal and we get into a nervous system habit of bracing and protecting against any new demands by default, right? Because we're. our body, our nervous system is assuming that we don't have any capacity, we can't take on a new demand. We, we start having a stance of no, avoiding demands, lowering standards, expectations, and I also wonder if this is, uh, at the core of what gets called PDA.

Pathological demand avoidance or what some people call persistent demand for autonomy as in I get to decide what demands I'm taking on right now. Thank you very much. However you want to call it, this rebellious avoidance of demands as just a habitual standard way of being, I think, is a byproduct of their often having been a lot of demands made of you.

Made of your nervous systems that were too much, too fast, too high or incorrectly paced for our processing speed, or we just lacked the social support and resources to handle it. And so we start being, uh, in that kind of protective demand avoidant way of being. And so sometimes, you know, when we haven't dealt with stuff, when we haven't faced what's hard, when we haven't, um.

Access support. We, I want to call this stored integrity. We store up what our true reactions and true and best and most helpful and most aligned, most integral responses would be till later till we have the resources right till we have the support. This is what masking is really, right? It's storing ourself, our integrity until a future moment when we can finally be who we are.

Same is true of experiences or circumstances for which we didn't have the tools or support to co regulate through or deal with. Um, they were too big, too scary, too unfamiliar, uh, too risky for the child that we were or even the adult that we were. And that storing up of stuff uses up capacity. Accessing resources.

Sometimes it can be as simple as I just need to feel warm and fed and slept well. And then I have the capacity to deal with something, right? Sometimes it's, um, I need to access relational support. I need to experience tuning in with and making safety around a new experience or a difficult experience.

And yes, so our capacity changes constantly and it's a measure, a changing measure of how much intensity or experience or demand or difficult or negative emotion or even positive emotion we can experience. Deal with, stay with, believe that we can handle right now, collectively, we are all, I think, humanity learning to expand our capacity to hold all of the difficult things that we are.

That we are facing to very unequal degrees, right? Holding, uh, the climate crisis, holding the just unthinkable pain, grief, and too much of a what should not be happening in the multiple genocides, the bloodshed, wars, the plight of people whose daily life It's just unthinkable, sheer survival, right? Being able to hold that that is all happening.

Meanwhile, to also hold what might be good, what might be joyful, what might be beneficial happening also in your life. To hold all of that along with the speed and momentum of technological development that's happening right now. To hold and be with the unequal impacts of. Healthcare systems, the pandemic responses, uh, reproductive healthcare, policy, to hold the brazen policy changes that are threatening the rights of groups of people that are already struggling, right, to hold that there is also a propaganda war and a need to really know where we are, what, you know, what media we're consuming, the leadership deficit, right.

That is requiring each of us to really consider like, okay. Where am I best placed to contribute a solution? Right. So holding, being with all of that, widening our capacity to stay with it, to be with it, to act accordingly, to respond in the right way, not to shut off and ignore and distance, and also not to overreact without the required analysis to know what the impact of those actions might be.

You. Healing your stuff means that you grow more capacity to be someone who can contribute to the world that you want in a meaningful way, in an aligned, integral way, and who can be in the work of growing the competencies to contribute to collective liberation, to contribute your gifts, your insights, your energy, your wisdom, your lived experiences, your unique perspective, right, and crafting a liberatory role that can Be what you are growing into, be what you are learning to embody, which might not be you on the front lines.

There's a framework that I love by Deeper Eye. It's called the social change ecosystem map. I've linked to it in the show notes. And within that, she offers a range of roles beyond just frontline responders, right? Guides, weavers, visionaries, Healers, caregivers, disruptors, experimenters, storytellers, builders.

There are so many roles and it's not about one being more important than the other, um, in her framework. It's, it's about what are we centering and what are we. What connection are we weaving between all of our different roles that mean that we are best placed to contribute our gifts, your gifts and your ability to contribute them are also not fully your responsibility, right?

This is a communal responsibility to increase the level of equity around resourcing to be in their gifts and to come out of a state of survival. So that's capacity. Part of the work that we do in the SOLA system, in the Unmasking Unschool, is the work of Sensing what our capacity is and learning to tune into that and learning to make decisions that then grow our [00:30:00] capacity because we're not pushing ourselves beyond it and then short circuiting that capacity into, uh, into that state of bracing and, Um, fear and defensiveness and avoidance.

All right. Next up is character. Character's gone a bit out of fashion. I think for a lot of good reasons, because it's been necessary to look at what are the social conditions and what. How do those influence someone's capacity instead of judging their behavior as character? But I also want to bring it back because I think character can also help us think about the ways that we might increase the level of choice, clarity, competence and capacity.

When you think about courage, determination, commitment, patience, humility, et cetera, right? Character traits. And I'm going to give an example of when I had my first child, I'd just given birth and the weeks and months. And to be honest, years since I've had to develop new character traits because I had to grow myself to meet the demands of a baby when my competence and my capacity was low.

Competence was low because I've never done it before. There are so many layered skills of being a parent that I just didn't have. And that most of which I don't think you can have until you've done it. And your child is also always growing and needing different things from you. And so you're always in catch up mode, always lagging behind who they need you to be.

And then capacity is low, right? You haven't slept well. You've just given birth. Uh, you haven't had any rest. Your sleep is being interrupted constantly and you have no idea ever if you're going, doing a good job, except that you've kept your baby alive. And so the level of. Character that I had to grow into, commitment, the level of care, patience, like adaptability, reliability, like, Hey, I'm here, I'm going to meet your need, um, had to really grow in me, not just to keep them alive, but also like, what can I do to not fuck up their life?

And a lot of things I also had to unlearn, like unlearning. The, the goal of trying to be perfect, trying to, you know, do everything, be the most and learn instead to be the good enough parent, right? Cause you basically cannot meet your child's every need. Otherwise they don't grow. It's also impossible.

It's an impossible goal. That's not worth having the same is true with giving birth. There are so many factors outside of your choice. And there were so many times when I didn't. Think that I had the capacity or the capability to get up for the 10th time in one night and figure out what baby needed. And yet I was able to grow the character to, to, to meet their needs, right?

So you might think about this in terms of creating a body of work, or if you have a problem that you're trying to solve, or you're freelance, or you have a financial goal that you're wanting to create, or you're launching a business or a service. Or there's something that you want to do, or there's a need that you're meeting in the world with your work, or there's change that you're wanting to create in your industry or locally.

Often having a big enough vision or goal or why, such as keeping someone alive, can help you to sense and grow into who is it that you're becoming? What is it that that is inviting you to be in your character? All right. Next one, cadence. Cadence is like rhythms, patterns, the up and down, the waves. So growing into that self, there is a cadence to it that isn't linear.

I'm going to take you through building SOLA systems so far as an example. So this is a bit of a behind the scenes of what it's been like and the cadence of how these seas have interacted. Um, and how much every year and every quarter. It's just an absolute confrontation with my current limits, either of my capacity or my capabilities or my character or all of the above.

Also, you know, never quite having the full clarity to know what choice to make and making the choice anyway, exercising my choice so that I can come into. More clarity, right? So I launched SOLA systems in 2020. So just to for clarity, the SOLA system framework is a, uh, a framework that I teach or coach your mental people, uh, as a way of defining the journey of unmasking and self becoming.

But SOLA systems is also the name I gave to the company that I created as a vehicle for this work. So I'm going to talk about SOLA systems, the company. And me building it and delivering the work rather than the framework now. Okay. So 2020, I launched SOLA systems in April and. I knew that I didn't really have the capabilities, the competence required, and I was in a season of growing competence.

And that was made possible because of the character that I'd grown, which was about being willing to be seen failing, taking the risk, having the courage, the determination, the commitment to just go for it. It had been years of umming and ahhing and dreaming and thinking about it. And maybe tomorrow 2020 was the year that I leaped.

In fact, 2019 really. And then 2020 is when I announced it and put it out in the world. 2021 was my hardest year after a year in 2020 when I'd redirected an arts council grant. And, Therefore had some money to start up with and then also made an equivalent amount from the income of the work itself. I was well resourced, but 2021 was when the multiple surprise lockdown started to take their toll.

I had two kids at home doing homeschooling. I had lost trust in planning and I'd reached a degree of exhaustion from that launch year. So my resources. My capacity was much lower than the year before. And because of that, I made no profit that year. I made money, but no profit covered costs, tax bills, et cetera, but no profit.

My capacity was low. And so my income was low. And I still hadn't yet built up all of the capabilities, the competencies, the skill sets to effectively run a business. Right? And so I leant on decisiveness, determination, character to solve for that and got. Coaching on very specific issues where I was lacking competencies so that I could have the coaching and the mentoring to grow those skills.

There's a lot to be said right for the boldness and like, fuck it, let's go that I had in the first year. But then I really came into a confrontation with a lack of capacity, a lack of competence and a lack of clarity. And so leaning on. Choice leaning on character became important again, the beginning of building a business is the hardest and it's mostly about taking action with none of the, yeah, very low belief, very low evidence that you can do it.

And very low competence and you're also being pushed to capacity a lot. And so, yeah, if it was starting to feel very punishing, very slow, a lot of failure that I was being exposed to in all the things that I was trying to do. And it became really important to streamline, to focus on identifying and coming into clarity about what is the next problem I need to solve, not try and solve 10 problems.

But what is the next one so that I can become competent in that before I move on to other skills, 2022, 2023, but also big skills growth years. When I started to feel a sense of conscious competence, also. More capacity, lockdowns ended, kids back in school, suddenly I had loads more time and therefore a larger capacity to put all of that into growing my, uh, competencies and try a bunch of new stuff and, you know, Fail more in order to grow more clarity.

The second half of 2023 was a little bit different though. And there were a combination of factors that meant that my capacity slowed again. And I also sought out new coaches, new mentors having arrived at new problems for which I lacked clarity on how to solve. My capacity slowed because of a number of things.

One was I really, um, needed to process some of the things that have been unfolding in the world. Um, my partner's from the Middle East, the kind of ricochet effects of that on, Him on what my clients were going through me [00:40:00] were things that were very much at the forefront to pay attention to be available one on one for people in my life and for people who I work with, uh, to offer that space.

And as well as that, the second half of 2023 was also, um, a bit of a health focus for me because I started to experience. quite extreme brain frog from about August and took about six months of taking some stuff off my plate of making health adjustments, routine adjustments, diet adjustments, looking into things like, is it perimenopause?

Is it mold? What the fuck's going on? And, You know, trying to solve for all the possible causes one by one and needing to give that time because brain fog, uh, has such a massive impact on capability, capacity, uh, competence, all of the things, right? I eventually located the main cause as being social. I hadn't spotted that I was in my personal life dealing with an, an individual around.

Something to do with my kids that wasn't every day, but it was like on a regular basis enough that reminded me and retriggered, uh, a past experience of when I had a lot less agency to deal with and my, my whole system, my whole body was bracing against. But what I was experiencing was this sense of I can't do it all.

I can't take this on. I can't, uh, uh, grow. I can't add new things and bring it back down to basics. And so, yeah, a lot of capacity, a lot of resources towards solving this thing, figuring it out, starting a new weight training and muscle building ritual. And also finally realizing, oh shit, it's that. It's been a big learning curve in terms of recognizing the impact that our social environment can have on our health and setting new boundaries and processing what has been re triggered in order to Yeah.

And it's very, very quickly cleared that brain fog. And it was really interesting to learn how much relationships can have an impact on our health. Since then, this year, 2024, some of what has been really steep learning curves of over the last few years, since I started in 2020, it's really begun to land in my body as.

unconscious competency as wisdom, as insight, as just a knowing and a new level of self trust to, yeah, to really be in the work that I'm doing and to now begin to build upon it and open up the horizons for what's next. One of the things that that new phase is offering up is Bringing back in to my focus, something that I hadn't yet had the capacity for the resources, the time, the space, which is creating the SOLA system materials, like pre recorded videos and stuff inside of the Unmasking Unschool program.

At the level of sensorial and aesthetic mastery that I know I have competence that I know I could do right and that I would want to one of my biggest values is original thinking is meaningful sensorial and aesthetic languages, but what's been necessary up until now is to take more of a done is better than perfect approach and to put that value aside.

To make sure that what I'm doing works, that I'm having the impact that I want to have with those I work with and. Yeah, it's been less important. And so what's coming up next is, yeah, creating this final evolved form of the SOLA system materials. And so what I'm going to let you know about right now is number one, I'm going to be sharing some of the lessons, the meta skills that have been essential for me to build SOLA systems on the podcast.

Not just because there are some of you that are building businesses or creating a body of work in the world. Um, but also because there are so many lessons that are cross applicable to personal life. And I'm also going to be sharing behind the scenes, sneak peeks of the process of creating this final evolved form.

On my mailing list, this is going to be image heavy. This is going to be, yeah, really me sharing the process. So if you aren't on my mailing list, I highly recommend that you get on there to benefit from what I'm going to be sharing, which won't be shared publicly, but will be an opening up and revealing of behind the scenes of for what is for me, a nonlinear process of allowing this final evolved form to take.

It's shape, uh, aesthetically and visually. And so this is another level of cultural leadership that I want to create. And it's also quite scary. It's a new, there are new character traits I'm developing that I'm focusing on that have to do with cultural leadership and being someone who can create massive transformative value in.

the work I'm doing in the world so that it can impact more people. And so I want to offer that example of that process in action of creating this final evolved form. So yeah, get on my mailing list. So, I hope that helps to give an example of me talking through SOLA systems of why knowing what season you're in, knowing what sea of these seven seas you are, um, needing to focus on as a way of not judging yourselves for when your capacity is low or when there's less external evidence of things changing yet.

And not mistaking periods of change and newness and effort and doing for, Oh, this is always how it's going to be, or this is how it's always going to feel, or I'm always going to be failing in this way. And also not mistaking periods of withdrawal and rest and cocooning for unproductivity or for you.

Not taking action or moving forward. And also if you're stuck or if you've not been taking action and shit is starting to hit the fan and there are some wake up calls happening that maybe there are some arenas that I've spoken to that need your attention. Right. All right. And the final C is coaching.

This is why I believe in coaching so much because my experience is, and this is not just when I've personally been coached, but also as a coach, coaching helps the other six. Coaching is showing you, where do you have a choice that increases your clarity about what is the actual problem or challenge or lesson that you might be in.

It offers shortcuts to coming to a place of unconscious competency in a specific skill. All right. And specifically what I coach on is the skills of unmasking of self becoming. It provides resourcing for your nervous system capacity, right? So it helps you grow your capacity. It helps you confront difficult things and joyful things, good things, right?

It helps you grow your capacity to be able to also experience the. The best of what life has to offer. It also supports character development. And in terms of cadence, those cycles of change become more intentional, more quicker. There's less static. There's less confusion. There's less going off the rails.

There's less like distraction. And it really expedites. The growth, the learning, the intentionality, the on purposeness of your becoming. So I don't think of coaching as something that is essential, that everyone needs, or anyone needs. We don't need it. It's an extra, right? It's a luxury. And for me, it has had such an impact on all of those C's that for me, it's where all of my spare resources go.

I will never not be without a coach, a mentor, a guide, because when I've lacked one of these C's, when I've been under strain in one of these areas, it's felt. Like I've been on the back foot and then what coaching has been able to help me do is to stop spinning in circles and to find the right thing to focus on to expand my capacity, my clarity, my competence and my choice and therefore make the changes I'm trying to make on purpose.

So let me recap the C's choice, clarity, competence, capacity, character, Cadence and coaching. So sibling to finish, what seasons are you in? This is about cadence. What seasons are you in and what seat are you in? Is this about you recognizing the choice that you do have? Do you need more clarity about the problem and the solution?

Are you lacking skills and need to grow your competence? Are you needing to grow your capacity? Or are you needing to grow your ability to track what your capacity is moment by moment, and therefore what boundaries work for you, what structures work for [00:50:00] you, what your energy and resources are, and therefore what to prioritize?

Is this about character growth? Is it about cadence that you're actually just in a rhythm whereby two steps forward, a few steps back and therefore what needs to grow next? And can you stop judging yourself for where you're at? So that's it sibling. I hope this has served you. If you're not on my mailing list, make sure you're on it and I'll talk to you soon.

Bye.

 

 

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