15. From the margins to centre stage: Making Decisions

Do you know what uses up an overwhelming amount of cognitive bandwidth?

Unmade decisions.

Unmade decisions like: What shall I do with this shirt I don’t like anymore? What shall I reply to that email? What should I do about the job offer when it’s not my dream?

Unmade decisions are like open tabs on your browser; they use up processing power.

Unmade decisions clog the system. 

They slow down momentum. 

They keep you… stuck.

This is why Making Decisions is one of the five core frameworks in The SOLA System.

Making Decisions is how you get unstuck.

It’s how you go from:

living in a state of unfinished-ness, hypothetical, “one day” hope, living in the margins,

waiting in the wings, watching your personas and other people’s decisions direct your life...

to actively directing, and writing, and being the main character of your life, on centre stage in a play you wrote and directed.

Making Decisions is how ensure your life isn’t being played by other people’s ‘shoulds’; their ideas for you, their agendas, their ideologies, their direction.

Or influenced by audience members you didn’t invite, who occupy your mind with why they are expecting to see something you aren’t here to deliver.

When you look at your life, and the show on stage isn’t one YOU chose on purpose, and the script running through your mind was written by someone else, and the character you are playing isn’t true to you, 

It means:

it’s time to start Making Decisions.

It’s time to step onto that stage, take up the role of director, and re-write that play.

It’s time to get to know who you are here to be: by BEING it.

And to inform the critic in the front row, to Watch, and Listen.

It's time to take up full ownership over the Decisions that shape what happens on your stage; who shares it with you, what it means to BE you, what the narrative arc of your experiences say about WHO you are.

It starts by bringing your own thoughts and feelings into the spotlight of your own awareness.

In this week’s podcast episode, I share how one of my partner’s observations of me allowed me to trace and undo a decades-old pattern;

of leaving things unfinished. Of avoiding decisions. Of waiting for “my real life” to start.



And to finally start committing to my actual life - by stepping into the role of director, playwright, and lead actor - by Making Decisions.

TRANSCRIPT:

Hey, siblings, how are you doing? Today, I want to talk about how to go from the margins to the centre stage of your own life. kind of cheesy, but I think it's a useful metaphor, I've been playing with it in my head, and I'm gonna go with it. And I think it's useful to talk about something that is really about if you imagine that your life is a stage. And that there's a play on it. There's, you know, there's, there's an act, there's people on it. There's, you're in a theatre, your life has stage, but you and waiting in the wings, right. And actually, this is your life, this is your stage, this is your theatre. And you are the director, you are the playwright, you are the lead actor. And yet, actually, what's happening is the persona that you've been told, is supposed to be the lead, the way that you've been told you're supposed to be is the one who's on stage, right? So the real you is waiting in the wings, and all of the ideas and agendas and thoughts about how you should be are the ones that are writing this play acting up this play. Okay. So there you are in the margins, waiting for permission for you to take up that role of the lead actor of the director and of the playwright, and start living your actual life. So I'm going to pause that there. Alright. So if you're someone who pictures things in your mind, picture that, if not play with that idea. And here's where it comes from. So about a year or two ago, probably two years ago, my partner said to me, you never finished things. And it was like, what? And it was such a rude awakening and such a moment of someone who loves me telling me the truth. Right. And they didn't say it in a heavy way. They just said it as a kind of passing observation. Like, did you know this? Do you know that you don't finish things? And, but it was such a shock to me, because I didn't know. And when I looked when I looked at my life, when I looked at things I'd started when I looked at changes that I was trying to make when I looked at redecorating, I began in a room. When I looked at projects, I started with my kids. When I looked at skills I was trying to learn, right? I looked at all of it. And all of it was unfinished. And I was like, oh, no, I've been living my life somehow, through not finishing things, okay. And at first, I was like, oh, you know, it's just, you know, creative brain. It's dopamine seeking. It's like, Oh, what's this thing over here? I'm going to try that for a bit. It's getting bored easily. It's just that right? That was my first thought to myself. But it didn't land, right. I was like, No, that's not it. I need to be honest, what's actually going on? And what I explored is what I want to share with you and I want to share the fruits of the journey that I've been on with this unfinished life that I found myself in. Okay. So when I explored it, and when I got really honest with myself, what I found was a Logic App play that had been there since I'd been probably a child, right? Which was the logic of one day, one day, things will be better, and then I can commit to my life. One day, when I'm living my actual life, That is when I will complete things. And for me completing anything is felt like accepting, right, accepting and committing to my actual life. And there have been a lot of times in the early years,

especially in my teens and early 20s, where I didn't want to do that, right. I was like this, isn't it? This doesn't feel good. I don't want to be here. And this associating my way through. And so that coping mechanism of deferring, facing how I felt, and deferring, being in my actual life, waiting in the wings for permission to start living it, waiting in the wings for it to get better by itself was a logic was a way of thinking that was still playing out. And it meant that I never felt I could fully go all in meant that I never felt I could fully commit. But this is all happening completely unconsciously. Right, I wasn't aware that I wasn't finishing things. So the result of that was that I ended up with perfectionism, right? Things aren't great. So I'm going to defer and delay finishing it until it can be perfect. It meant that I wasn't willing to follow through and finish in case what when I finished, it still wasn't that perfect future happy. Everything resolved. Future thing that I've always been sending myself off to write disassociating into. Now, I wasn't aware of any of this. But now that I was aware of it, thank you, I could do something about it. Right, I could explore this logic. And so this is really what I want to explore today, using the metaphor of your life as a stage, okay? So this idea that you are in the wings, and that you've been taught that there's a specific play that should be on stage, there's a specific lead character that should be playing it. And the play isn't yours, the script was written by someone else, the character isn't you. And there you are in the wings, waiting to start living your life waiting to stop being yourself, waiting for permission, waiting for things to sort themselves out, waiting for someone else to write you back into your life, okay. And, of course, no one's gonna do that. Because this is your life, this is your stage. And this isn't an and you know, people have their own ideas, they have their own agendas, they have their own preferences, for you to start living your life. What that means is you have to be willing to start making decisions that put you onto that stage. So that you can start to rewrite the play, redirect what's happening, and start to find out who is my character? Who am I here to be? What is my personality? How do I do me? Who's on that stage with me? If it was me, writing this and choosing what would I be doing? And how would I be living? Okay? And what this unfinished waiting in the wings logic does, is it makes you make those decisions in the hypothetical, right? It makes you dream of one day, one day, I'm going to have that thing one day, I'm going to be that person. One day, I'm going to create that life. But all it does is reinforce what is going on which is you being passive, you're not making decisions, you're not being the active director of your life. Okay? So the difference between you being offstage in the wings and you being onstage is really making decisions and taking up the full agency at the agency that you have to take that first step onto the stage of your life. So that you can start experiencing what your life actually is. Alright, so that you come out of that hypothetical dreaming, waiting in the wings and you start actually experiencing Okay, what does it feel like to be in this life?

What is actually going on in this play? So, when you do that when you make that decision when you start making decisions From the role of director from the role of playwright from the lead actor, then you can start to say, hey, you persona, it's time to take a break, so that the real me can come on stage and start living this life. So I can start experiencing it for real, so I can commit and be in it no matter what it currently is. But here's the thing. The real you who's been waiting offstage is far less experienced at being onstage, has no idea how to project their voice or become on stage, right? Well, how to move their body authentically with the character that they're actually there to be. Yeah, so for you to then make that decision. means you've got to step into that not knowing, I don't actually know how to be myself. I don't actually know what my life should be. It means that the playwright in you has to start writing as to start making things mean, what you want them to mean, right? It means that the director has to start making decisions. Nope, I don't like how that looks. I don't like these characters that are with me, this is not what I would choose. Okay. So I want to talk about how you then begin to do that. So as I said, this is all about making decisions decisions are the things that take you from that hypothetical, unfinished life waiting in the wings, waiting for permission to taking centre stage and starting to shape the play that is your life, as you would have it, okay. So it's decisions. And decisions mean that you have to be in the muck of that work of rewriting that play of tidying up the mess that someone else decided should be on your stage. And in also the difficulty of what your actual life is, right? It means you have to process what the emotions really are, how you really feel about what's going on. And to face all of it. Okay. So first, we just need to acknowledge that this is what's happening. You're waiting in the wings of your own life, okay? And being okay with this, right being okay, with the fact that I've handed so much of my own power to other people. So being okay with the fact that, okay, this sucks to think that I've not been fully living my life, my stage allowing myself to be the author of it. So being okay with that, just being what it is, okay? You also have to be okay with how you might not know, for quite a long while. What you want your plate to be, who your main character is, what you actually like, who are the other players on stage with you? How do you feel when you start seeing things from the centre? Right, instead of comparing them to that hypothetical imagined future ideal? That actually isn't real. Okay. So you might find out and the finding out, like, how does it feel when I start recognising how, what I've allowed? What I've said yes to what people have given me what I've internalised that actually isn't mine, okay? So it's going to be messy, it's going to feel unfamiliar, the finding out how do I want to live isn't going to be instant, right? It's not going to be a perfectly rehearsed play. That suddenly comes on stage and everything is done. Okay. If you imagine a playwright working on their play, is going to be a lot of messy creative first drafts. Try this try that. It's going to be actors learning their character, it's going to be you learned relearning who actually am I when I'm accepting it? This is the life I've been planted in. These are the circumstances I was born in. This is the body I have. This is the mind I have. This is what I've been given. Now what right? It's going to be you being the actor trying to figure out who that figure out who that is. It's going to be a lot of trial and error and exploring things and trying things and rehearsing and Okay, that didn't feel right. And so

doing all of that you have to be okay. With that being how your experience of your life will be for a little while. Right? And when you're okay with that, when you're sufficient in that, when you're like, fine. I'm going to face it. I know it's a mess. I know things are not right. But at least I'm on stage, right? At least I'm not offering the wings, at least I'm starting to take ownership over the decisions that I've been making that really weren't mine. So when you're okay and sufficient and accepting of the fact that, okay, this is going to be messy, this isn't going to feel comfortable, this isn't going to look like how it will eventually look. This might confuse people. When you accept that it's so much better. Then being off stage, right being in the hypothetical, watching other people's agendas, play out on your stage, right? Watching your persona, live your life, while they are in the margins being completely unseen. Okay? So decisions are the process. And this means that you make a decision, and then the real stuff comes up, right? The decision is to step into your life step onto that stage, you bumped your knee, what's this? Okay, someone left this prop here, this wasn't part of my plan. This is not what I would choose. I got to deal with that. Okay, now I go over here. And all right, here's this character, how come I let them in my life? How come they've been a GM, they're responding to me, as if I'm this person, and in this play, and when actually, that's not who I am. And now I've got to correct things, okay, it means you're actually in the thick of your life, doing it for real is going to feel messy, it's going to be very different from that fantasy version. From that delayed one day, I will imagined future when you're thinking that passively, something will just magically fix things. Okay, when when you step on your stage, it means that things actually get fixed, it might feel bad, it might mean, you have to face your actual feelings, right? I didn't actually like this, I didn't want this, this is not part of the plan. This is not what I'm here to do. And so you have to bring those feelings onto stage with you. Right, bring them out of the shadows to admit, this is how I really feel. Bring it all out into the light of your own awareness. Right and, and love. What is love all of those parts? Why am I feeling this? What is this part of me that I've been ignoring? How do I really feel? Let me get to work. So the confidence to be on stage to fully live your life out loud, fully expressed, to find out who that is, can only start happening, when you start making those decisions that come from you. taking ownership of what play is going is playing out in your life. Okay? So the quality of those decisions comes from the way that you are thinking about yourself, the narrative, the story that's going on in you. So it means that you have to start being willing to write that play right to start deciding intentionally. What does this mean? And to look at what what the thoughts are? What is the story that's playing out? What thoughts have I received about myself that I don't want to? I don't want to think any more. whose thoughts Am I listening to? Am I listening to that heckler? At the back of the theatre? Am I listening to the gossip in the front row? Am I playing out drama that I didn't right? Am I tuning my earpiece into news to stuff on the internet? That actually has nothing to do with my state that I have no control over? Am I listening to the critic who thought they were coming to see something that I'm not here to create? Am I listening to? Am I listening to people who have rewritten their play, who know how to tidy up? Who think the kinds of thoughts about themselves? That I want to think about myself, right? So who are you listening to what thoughts what narrative what story is being written, taking ownership over that?

Listening to the parts of you inviting all of you onto stage, inviting the things that you deeply desire, inviting what you really want, and then taking up the role of the director to start making those decisions. So decisions are not about trying to make things perfect right away. Right Decisions are about birth. Seeing the real you, and the real emotions and the real actual life into your awareness on stage and being fully present. And then asking yourself questions. Do I like this? Would I choose this? If I am really believing that I am the director and the playwright and the lead actor? Like is this something I would choose? Noticing how you have been choosing that you've been allowing it, you've been waiting in the wings, you've been saying yes to it, in the idea that you are passive that you don't get to choose that you have to fit in with someone else's ideas for you. Okay. And then it's also about being okay, with the amount of misalignment the amount of mess, the amount to which, who you've been being that persona, who's onstage, the play that's playing out the props, the way things look, the way things feel. Not being being right, right, not being what you choose being okay with, that's just where you're where you're at. Okay. I remember, years ago, I started temp work. And one of the companies that I started doing this temp, receptionists job at so temp, meaning temporary contract work, the way you get sent off to different places where they just need staff for a short amount of time. So I got sent off to this pharmaceutical marketing company, it was really small one in central London. And my contract was for two weeks, and I'd cycle in to send the centre of London every day for an hour each way. Right. And it was full time, five days a week and low pay. And I was only supposed to be there two weeks.

But I coasted right, I used it to coast. And I ended up being there. For two years. I kept telling my boss I'm leaving now I'm going to leave soon. Next week, I'm looking for a job. And yet I was there for two years, it started to become a normal, I was living this play that I was pretending that I hadn't chosen, I was making choices that were coming from this idea that it's okay. Because one day soon, something will happen to me that I mean, I don't have to do this. And so I was living what felt like someone else's life. And that didn't fit me. And that wasn't right for me. And that was exhausting. And I wasn't taking full charge of the fact that I was deciding, right I was the one that that was deciding that this is what I was doing. And the only way I got out of it was not because something then better happened to me. It was because I started to make new decisions, right? Difficult, scary decisions, to start directing the show, right to find someone who worked in a gallery and ask them about how do I be an artist who does workshops, I had to make the decision to go freelance right to quit that regular, but exhausting income, and put myself out there as a freelance artist who wanted to get more work done workshops. And with no professional experience of being an artist. But to make those scary decisions to start directing my life towards what I actually wanted. instead of passively waiting in the wings for something to change. I then had to do those workshops, I had to learn how to do that even though it was deeply scary, but I did it because at least it was putting me in proximity in the arena of what I wanted to do. It meant I started to believe that I was an artist, right? It meant I was getting closer to playing the role that I decided to be and didn't want to be a receptionist of a pharmaceutical marketing company. I wanted to be an artist. The only way that that was going to happen was when I started to make decisions. So I had to take ownership of the fact that this is what I was accepting, right? I was accepting what my life was, and making that okay and just waiting for it to solve itself. And instead I had to accept okay, this is what I've been deciding and take ownership over it and let that be okay. Right. Okay. I've been making that decision. I've been coasting. I've been trying to survive and accepting the mess that I felt that I was in and accepting the most He was full of props and characters and ideas and plotlines that I wouldn't want. And that I was playing a role that I hadn't chosen, or that I thought I hadn't consciously chosen, right, I thought that I had no choice. And that, and so to start making new decisions to start being the director, you have to be okay with the fact that this is why I've been doing okay, I have to accept, okay, I've been living out some ideas that I got from somewhere else, I've been living decisions that felt like, Okay, this is the easy choice, okay. That weren't me taking full ownership and responsibility that this is my stage, this is my play, I choose the role. And I get there. And I make that real, through making decisions that are in line with it. Now, sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances and and in a play, that we didn't write, and it wasn't our fault, right? You don't choose the life that you get born into. You don't choose the family, you don't choose the economic and social context. You don't choose the language that you are taught, you don't choose so much of it, right. So you also may we don't choose that you never had someone supporting you to know you get to decide you get to write, you get to

be who you are, or what you are bringing on stage is enough is lovable is yours. Or maybe the audience that came in your theatre was not your audience weren't for you, they came thinking that this was one particular play, and you turn up you're born and their disappointment, that confusion, their displeasure, wasn't actually a reason for you to stop. But it felt like it, you believed them, right. So now, those voices are still in your audience, instead of your people, instead of the people that see you that understand you that appreciate who you are. So when you start doing you when you start taking up full centerstage eventually, they either realise and they're like, Okay, I've changed my mind. I see what's happening here, and I'm starting to recognise or they leave, they leave your theatre, and they free up seats for your people to come in. Right? So you can let them go. And allowing the people that are your people, right, let them find out, let them choose, let them make up their own minds. But know that this is your stage, you get to do it your way, they can leave you can't, right, this is your one shot. This is your one show. This is your one life. Okay? So it's only now that you're onstage, right? You You're facing what's there, you're facing all of these props, and this stuff and these characters and this persona, that you can then begin to sort through them, you can then begin to start to take up that role of director and playwright and lead actor, you have to accept that who you've been being is the persona, or is the hiding in the wings. And that's okay, right, this happened, you aren't the only one. In fact, most people are living plays that they didn't, right? Most people are playing roles they didn't choose, right. Most people are receiving scripts that don't fit them. So but you get to now start being willing to make those decisions that most people aren't willing to make. To say, No, I'm going to do this my way. I'm going to be in this mess. I'm going to step onto that stage, I'm going to experience the reality of it. I'm going to allow all my true feelings onto stage, be with it. And then one decision at a time, I'm going to begin sorting through it. How am I feeling? What do I want? What decisions do I need to make? And then begin to start making those decisions to rewrite that play, to rename the play to make it yours to make it true to you to make it reflect the real you? Right? So this means no more delaying waiting for your real life waiting for permission. Receiving scripts that oh, this is all you get to choose. ignoring your unhappiness because you think oh, someday, one day in the future. Someone's gonna give me permission. The director who The voices the audience that are directing my life currently, one day, they'll invite me in, when in fact, it's you, it's you that needs to give you permission to do that needs to invite you in.

So, study this, right? How am I going to rewrite my life. So you might want to get around other people who are doing the same, who are learning the skills of making decisions of building life on purpose, right, or growing into that director role. That playwright roll that lead actor roll, who are willing to be messy and be bad at this first, who are making those tough decisions that maybe don't feel good right now, but are going to put you on a trajectory, that means that you actually then end up in a play that reflects who you really are. So maybe this means getting a mentor. Maybe this is someone who can help you look at what your play is like a therapist, maybe this is someone like a coach who can help you shape your life and make decisions that are in line and keep you accountable to who you're becoming. My point is that you don't have to do this alone. You can get around other people who are doing the same. You can get help, you don't need to DIY this, you don't need to go into your stage and then feel completely alone in this right. Shakespeare said, all the world stage, I'm saying all your life, your life is a stage. Shakespeare said we all have our exits and entrances. Meaning a time is finite, right? You have one show. This is your one life as you there's different acts, there's different seasons, there's different parts of it. But at some point, the curtains will close. Right? And you don't know when. So when are you going to decide? Like I'm done enough is enough. No more persona, living my life for me. No more listening to those audience members that I didn't invite. No more having someone else direct the show. Write someone else's script. Today's the day I've had enough. And I'm deciding, right, this has to change. This is enough pain. This is enough. Waiting. Right? I've had enough. I'm willing to do the uncomfortable, scary thing of stepping onto that stage, having a look at it, and making starting to make decisions. Right? I'm willing to make this a priority now willing to make me being those roles in my own life, the thing that I'm doing the thing that I'm working on, I'm not going to wait anymore. I'm not going to imagine a hypothetical future version. Right? I'm deciding. I don't know how, but I'm deciding. So that's the difference, right? This is how this is how you come out of an unfinished life. And one day I will and start being right today. Today, I decide. I'm deciding, I'm going to be in my actual life. I'm going to be honest about what I think and feel. And I'm going to start taking ownership over what it is. Sometimes it helps to allow yourself to get angry, right get fed up. There have been plenty of times when anger was helpful for me to get into that decision making stay right I'm done. I'm sick and tired of living this way of swallowing this low standard of over adapting this much of putting up with it. Right and it's not going to feel amazing. It's going to not it's not going to look clean, it's going to it's not going to be immediate. It's not going to be overnight, you've got to be willing to be uncomfortable, to get mucky, to do a few drafts, to roll up your sleeves, to have uncomfortable conversations, to face the mess to dig around in the mud, to sacrifice the distraction and the one day and passively waiting and the comfort of consuming and you have to start deciding new things. One of my coaches said to me that to get the wisdom from your experiences, you have to be willing to wade through the mud, right to feel the yucky feelings to admit the regret to admit the unhappiness to admit I don't want this and to learn the lessons to find the gems. You have to get in there and sort through it to uncover those lessons like why did I agree to this? What was I thinking about myself? That made me accept that option? Where if I've been handing my power over to hecklers in the audience to someone else who thinks that they should direct my life, to a political agenda, to a particular system to an ideology to a circumstance that was handed me? Right, what was said to me that I internalised that led me to just allow that on my stage. Why did I think I had to put up with this, right? So you have to bring all of that into the light. face those lessons, learn those lessons. Sometimes we think feeling bad means something has gone wrong. But when you choose to feel bad, right, when when feeling bad is a choice that you're making in order to process emotions, process your life. And out learn those lessons, right? I've been accepting this, I've been doing things that I know lead to burnout, I've been over adapting. When is it going to land in me that I need to make a different decision.

Okay, so that decision is to feel bad is to get uncomfortable in your character, not sensory stuff, right? Your character growth. That's what actually leads to joy growth is what creates joy. Not ease, not always letting it be. But instead, stretching, right, stretching the flowers stretching up to the sun, you've got to be in the light and the stage lights, you've got to be the director, you've got to be the stage designer. And the only way is by being on the stage and not waiting in the wings. So my offer to you today is to choose now. Right choose today, choose right now. Don't wait for life to force your hand. for things to get really bad before you before you learn the lesson that no, you have to decide, you have to decide Enough is enough. I'm doing it. Today. I'm facing my life. I'm making a decision. I don't know what will happen next. I don't know how it will feel to step out from the wings. And have all of the other actors turn around and look at me like Who's that? I don't know how it will feel when I refuse that script. When I refuse the shirt. When I start ignoring those voices, right, I didn't invite or that I internalised when I start looking through the script and having a look at it and being like, Nope, I don't like that. I didn't write that. That's not for me tear out that page. Right when I start packing up those props, those scenes, those costumes, there's stuff that I hid behind when I start actually experiencing my life by being in it. Right. So yes, stuff happened to you. You had things handed to you. You've had more people trying to tell you who to be or who you should be, or what's wrong or why you should hide why you don't get to decide, right? None of that is fair. It's not fair that you didn't have the support. It's not fair that you didn't have an audience saying yes, this plays good. We like this actor. This story is excellent. This play is desirable and worthy and right. I'm going to write a good review, right? It's not your fault that you didn't have that at times. Okay, it is unfair. But now what is still your stage is still your play. It's still your time, it's still your life. And when you start making decisions that are yes to you, here's what happens. You find out that you can handle those hecklers, right you can handle a confused audience, people deciding to leave other people coming in that are better match people not understanding, they will be fine. You can handle choosing you instead of pleasing them. And you can find out that it feels so much better, even when they're not happy about it. Right, you can find out that you can handle a lot more than that younger version of you. That ran and head could handle okay? That all that is between you. And the play on your stage that you want to write is decisions. You get to find out who you actually are right when you are deciding for you. You get to decide what roles you're going to play in the world, in your life in your relationships, right you decide you write that you start to write the play of your life through the living of it, not the hypothetical version. that one day someone will happen to you. Right, you start to get to feel seen, you start to know who you are, and how to be yourself. You finish things you commit, you bloom where you're planted, right, you start to believe your own word. Because your own word is the one on the stage, it's in the play you followed through. Right? So you start to have a new relationship with how much you will do what you say you're going to do, how much you get to experience the results of those decisions? What is in your play? Right? It becomes real, you start to experience how much agency you have, you start to get to write what all of this means. What is the purpose, the meaning of your life? What does it consist of? Who's in it? What are you here to do? Who you hear to be? Right? So

the more true that your play is to you, the more that you get to be centre stage of your own life. You get to inhabit it, you get to experience the good and the bad, you to be in it, you get to fully live it, you get to make it fun, you get to make it up. Yet to find out that it's you who decides and that you don't have to keep making decisions to please others. And when you please yourself, you bloom, you glow up, you rise up, you strengthen, you get energy you feel seen, you get to start making decisions that take you where you want to go. You get to experience the miracle of who you are. You get to look around your life and see yourself reflected. You don't feel invisible. You have people in your audience who see you support you appreciate you because they can see you because it's your play. Right, you get to edit, you get to change it up, you get to try new roles. So I'm going to finish there. Tell me how this landed. I know it was quite full on what you deciding today, what some small decision that you know you need to make or even a big one that you've been avoiding, that you've not been following through on. Now it's time to commit now it's time to take up the stage. That is your life. All right, I'm gonna finish that so much love, and I will talk to you soon. Bye.